Four top moments of holiday music magic

4. Run D.M.C. -- "Christmas in Hollis"

This song was on the compilation "A Very Special Christmas" first released in 1989. The two highlights are the album cover by the late and wonderful Keith Harring and this rap classic. There are many other major artists (Madonna, Sting, The Pretenders) doing traditional covers, but the real gem on this is the only rap track on the album. Run D.M.C. take the usually tired "Jingle Bells" and break it down with their signature sound that includes funky James Brown style horns and the sign of the times scratching by the late great Jam Master Jay. Like Beck's "Little Drum Machine Boy", Run D.M.C. take a traditional Christmas song and add their own funky twist with some hilariously personal lyrics about their own Christmas experience growing up in Queens.

Sample lyric: It's Christmas time in Hollis Queens
Mom's cooking chicken and collard greens
Rice and stuffing, macaroni and cheese
And Santa put gifts under Christmas trees
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(The Run D.M.C. mamas don't care nothing about no low carb diets!)

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3. Mr. Hankey's Chrismas Classics

I think the South Park guys will always have a special place in my heart for releasing this album. I can't pick one of these songs as the best so I had to include the whole album. I listen to these songs every year with my sister and we always laugh just as hard every year. "Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo" theme gets this party started right with Mr. Mackey's "Carol of the Bells", Shelly's "I saw three ships" (with extra special lisp) and Mr. Garrison's "Merry F**cking Christmas" as three of my favorites. Cartman's "O Holy Night" deserves a special recognition as the fat bastard forgets the lyrics and subs his own selfish thoughts as lyrics.

Here is Cartman's version:
And, O holy night!
The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of our dear Savior's b-b-b-birth.
O holy night! The something something distant
It is the night with the Christmas trees and pie.
Jesus was born and so I get presents.
Thank you, Jesus for being born.

Those last lines sum up the real way a kid thinks better than anything Trey Parker and Matt Stone ever came up with in South Park. Cartman hits the greedy American brat nail on the head.

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2. The Pogues -- "Fairytale in New York "

Jamie Melin read my mind in her comment on my earlier Christmas song post. I knew she would like this one as much as I do. I remember way back in the eighties when MTV played videos, they used to show this one during Christmas and it is excellent -- like a mini- movie starring the always foxy Matt Dillon as a cop. The lyrics tell of the dream of two kids from Scotland coming across the pond for find a better life and then reality, dysfunction and substance abuse suddenly set in. Singer Kirsty MacColl sings with the band and her voice is absolutely beautiful contrasted with lead singer Shane McGowan's whiskey snarl.

Sample lyrics:

You're a bum
You're a punk
You're an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed
You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy Christmas your arse
I pray God it's our last

(Does anything scream the beauty and santity of Christmas like those lines? Love 'em)

Note: Shane McGowan will always take the rock 'n' roll crown for worst teeth (he even beats Freddy Mercury)

Sad note: Kirsty MacColl died tragically five years ago in a boating accident
while she and her sons were diving in Mexico. The BBC reissued the song this year in her honor.

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1. Vince Guaraldi -- A Charlie Brown Christmas

It wasn't hard to pick a number one. I remember hearing this CD at a party 10 years ago and immediately I had to find it for my own. Charlie Brown, his gang and their soundtrack never get old. Their wit and wisdom is as funny today as it was in the sixties and Charles Schultz made a wonderful decision in getting a brilliant jazz composer like Guaraldi to come up with the the soundtrack to the Charlie Brown Christmas special. Many of these songs are original and they have the playfulness that is to be expected with any Charles Schultz, but there is also a seriousness and slight sadness that captures a time of year where its hard not to miss the kid you used to be that was so excited about Santa Claus. At the same time the the music also paint the scene of late December -- cold, bleak and reflective. There is nothing sappy or sentimental about this album. Like all great music, I think this album will be as worthy in 100 years as it is today and as it was when it was released forty years ago.

Sample lyrics from "Christmas time is here":

Christmas time is here
Families growing near
Oh that we could always see
Such spirit through the year

Sleigh bells in the air
Beauty everywhere
Yuletide by the fireside
And joyful memories there

Christmas time is here
Families growing near
Oh that we could always see
Such spirit through the year