Wake me up so I can smoke dope

Poor George Michael. It must suck to have been relevant so many years ago and now to make news for drug, sex and other stupid behavior like crashing into a parked car this past week (last time I checked, only old ladies get away with that.) George has an acute case of Scott Stapp syndrom, also known as a Stapp infection. At least he is smart enough to have a publicist who seems to have dreamt up a lovely diversion tactic in the form of a divalition derby between Michael and Sir Elton John.

To prove that Michael is still smoking the good stuff he was on when the bobbies found him passed out behind the wheel in February, he now claims that all the recent bad press he's received is all Elton's fault.

Michael recently told an interviewer, "The trajectory of my particular soap opera (with the press) launched from that statement Elton made about 18 months ago when Elton hadn't seen me for years."

"Elton said he thought I was really miserable for some reason. From that point on I've been trying to prove that I'm not. Unfortunately it made me
incredibly vulnerable to the press."

In December 2004, John said that Micheal appeared to be in a "strange place", wasting his talent by staying at home and shunning the limelight.

"The subtext to it is 'well, he was all right before he came out and now he lives this depraved gay life and he's miserable and fat'," Michael said, adding that he felt fine.

By George, you have really been working on reading into those subtexts. Wouldn't Elton John calling someone fat and depraved for living a gay life be a bit hypocritical? I think what Sir Elton might be insinuating is how sad it is for a talented famous person like Michael to be forced out of the closet by getting caught trying to pick up a trick in a public bathroom and then caught in a series of idiotic drug-related car incidents.

Sorry dude, at this rate you are never going to get knighted.

This bizarre PR tactic works by connecting someone struggling to rebuild an image with someone much more famous and artistically relevant. Hmmm ... I wonder if Michael's dried up fan base might start regaining interest. It is curious that he just annouced he is going on tour after a 15 year hiatus.

I guess those court costs really do start to add up.

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Comments

BeckEye said…
You know, now that I think of it...everything wrong in my life is all Billy Joel's fault. I think those two are on a joint mission to destroy everyone for no reason.
10:39 PM
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