If you can't shread 'em, burn 'em
Driving to a big box office supply store holds about as much excitment as waiting in line at the DMV so I decided against buying a paper shreader. There's no place to put it in my cramped office/guest room anyway. Why buy a paper shreader when a mini Smokey Joe, a bottle of lighter fluid and a match can do the same thing with much more drama.
See ya financial statements, until the next pyrotechnic display that is.
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How are things going?